How to grow a writer

I recently came across an article that I thought was called 'How to grow a writer'. When I re-read the title, it actually said 'How to grow AS a writer'.

'How to grow a writer' stuck in my head though so here it is.

How to grow a Writer

Plant a seed of imagination. Water with cups of tea or coffee until the seed is firmly rooted.

Feed your seed with plenty of well-digested reading matter. It doesn't matter what type of reading matter you use (fantasy novels, life poetry, short stories). In fact, varying your reading matter may well strengthen your growing writer.

As your writer begins to branch out, don't forget to strengthen its growth through regular sessions of penmanship. Regular is the key word here. At this point, don't be tempted to prune the writer.

Once your writer's roots have begun to spread, re-direct them to safe zones where they can be further nourished and encouraged. Don't worry if your writer's roots meet other writer roots as this can strengthen your writer's resolve and raise its resistance to attack.

Training your writer against a sunny wall can be a useful exercise in providing your writer's growth with direction.

Finally, take joy in the flowers and fruits that your writer produces.

And don't forget to:

keep your writer watered (you may wish to vary tea and coffee with the occasional gin)

keep your writer fed (don't be afraid to look further afield for reading matter)

keep the penmanship sessions regular (remember, put away the secateurs, no pruning for now)

check that their spreading roots are safe, nourished and encouraged

maintain the training of your writer to prevent bad form and procrastination

Congratulations! You've grown a writer.